Listening is an art and a skill we develop. Far to often we find ourselves caught up in the experiences of our past and our expectations of the future to be present enough to participate in the art of truly listening to the person with whom we are speaking with in the moment.
Being present in the "here and now" requires concentration and ones attention. We are often to busy to offer that to others, but are quick to expect it from others and here lies the conflict in many relationships.
Being present in the "here and now" requires concentration and ones attention. We are often to busy to offer that to others, but are quick to expect it from others and here lies the conflict in many relationships.
So how do we stop the inner self sabotaging of our immediate relationships? We start by identifying them for what they are. distractions from the moment at time we are in and a distraction from intimacy from the one we are with. Yes, these thoughts often prevent one on one moments of intimacy because one or both partners gets so caught up in their individual dialogues from past relationships they have no time to think about the needs of their partner.
A simple exercise is to stop yourself, not answer the phone in the middle of a conversation, or remove your ear buds when talking. Even the act of taking off your sun glasses to talk can improve your sence of presence. Try any one of these, or one of your own and see if your intimacy with friends and your significant other improves.
As always I hope you foud this informative and helpful. Feel free to contact me of a consultation,
Dr Kevin
www.DrKevinOBrien.com
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