Grief

Grief is a healthy response to situations such as death, divorce, injury, disability, loss of a job, property or a crisis.  We suffer grief over the loss of loved ones, movie stars, and pets openly but there are other forms of grief we prefer to keep hidden.  Loss of innocence from child abuse be it physical or sexual in nature.  We like to believe that like scars most grief heals with time, after all everyone experiences loss, right?  

Facing the reality of the loss or abuse is critical but not always timely, for a child for instance.  So it takes revisiting that loss in adulthood with a competent therapist, and guide one whom your trust will not be violated again.  Normal grief is not easy, when it is complicated by these other issues, your vulnerability grows and develops with your inability to trust others until you find yourself isolated in a lonely place of self blame and criticism.  

With therapy you can face your reality, learn to grow again and develop less self sabotaging habits.  It requires being honest, facing your pain, dealing head on with your denial, anger, and confused guilt feelings.  These are usually followed by feelings of despondency, and depression and the desire to drop out of treatment: but don't.  It is your mind re-hardwiring positive messages and truths about your experience, and building stronger defenses against the habitual self sabotaging "old fail-safe" behaviors of your past.  

The depression will be followed by new feelings of hopefulness, so fresh and new to you that you will be amazed.  it requires expressing your feelings asking for and accepting help and learning to be kind to your yourself (a new concept for many of you). Throughout this process get plenty of rest when you need it.  Set goals, both short and long term.  these are all workable with a competent therapist.  

As always I hope you found this informative and helpful.  Feel free to contact me for a consultation.

Dr Kevin