Pages

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Self-sabotage and how we stop ourselves from getting what we want

It has been my experience that, even those who protest that they have nothing to feel guilty about have underlying guilt feelings that stop them from achieving their goals. Goals as simple as applying for a promotion, or asking someone out on a date.  Learning what it is that you feel guilty about is often just the beginning breakthrough to better understanding of your motivations and what holds you back from achieving.  

Firstly guilt has many disguises: mainly fear, insecurity and procrastination.  All are sometimes present or just one of these outward symptoms of guilt.  Another example is hiding in ones work, workahoholism. Functioning and hiding are two very different animals.  Where the blackberry has become a new appendage and interrupts meals, meetings, and social discourse.  It is easy to say that we need these modern tools to function, and many of us do. 

These are often, but not always, symptoms or outward manifestations of guilt feelings.  However, they get in the way from meeting someone socially; say at dinner when you are constantly on your blackberry, then wonder why you don't get call backs.  Another is handing in projects at the last minute, or when they are months overdue, or on the day they are due prior to proof reading them. Then wondering why you do not get the promotion you are seeking. These are just some examples, I'm sure you have plenty of your own examples.  

A primary goal in therapy and in coaching is to help uncover the root causes of these symptoms, find alternate ways of behaving and stop self-sabotaging behaviors from getting in your way of your achievements.  To live and work more in line with your goals and dreams and help you live a more harmonious life.  Not all of these are resolvable and much depends on what you are willing to put into it.  In other words, much of the results depend on the the efforts you put in to your treatment.  It is always best to consult a friend in treatment for a referral, or find one with credentials in an area that you approve of. As always I hope this was informative and helpful.  

All the Best,

Dr  Kevin

  


No comments:

Post a Comment