Often we don't get what we want, or have things turn out the way we had planned. For instance, a job promotion, or the health of a family member can turn out differentlythan we had hoped.What do we do with disappointment? Do we let the disappointment fester, or try to walk away with lessons learned. It is difficult to review why we didn't get the promotion, but it is important to our long term goals. As for the health of family members that is usually out of our control. but often there is some personal bias as to the choices we make on our family members behalf, just as the choices why one person is chosen over the another for promotion involve some personal bias on the behalf of the one hiring. We can't forget the political strategies of our bosses for placing another ahead of us. To what advantage does this play out for your boss in placing that individual there instead of you.
So analyzing our game plan post failure is just as important as a post game win. There are different endorphins fired by the brain when we win then there are when we lose. That's why we feel depression instead of jubilation when we lose but none the less, there is information to be gathered and new plans to be assessed. How to work with the new boss? Adjusting to how to work with this person you were competing with just weeks ago takes some ego-adjustment. Are you able to do this, or is it a sign to start preparing to leave?
Before we jump the gun, it is always best to assess our current situation within our company, and remove as much of our ego from the equation as possible. Objectively assessing where you stand in the company can help depersonalize the decision your boss made not to go with you. Also depending on your relationship with and the type of boss you have a post application interview can demonstrate that you have interest in more than what you are currently doing and put you in line for something else that may come up in the future. This is a good time to also let your boss know of your disappointment but your willingness to work with his selection. Emphasis here on your willingness to remain a team player and continue to put your best foot forward.
When dealing with disappointment in yourself try to understand your own circumstances as objectively as possible. Making lists, or looking at the circumstance through the eyes of "how a close friend would support you" are two examples to help gain prospective. Once you have a clearer perspective you will be more abt to respond less critically towards yourself. you will still wish to make corrections, but with less severity or personal harm.
I hope you found this helpful and informative
Dr Kevin
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